These Roads

These Roads

by dan ankers

These roads are technicolor troves

of groves

bearing rows upon rows upon rows

of deliciously un-righteous iniquities;

thickly

It’s that same, stolid apparition

in that time-honored tradition,

which some have said is fostered by

the beasts of perdition

But I say,

"It is only 

a manifestation of

Humanity...

Seeking sanity."

Give me your shards

Give me your shards

by dan ankers

Bottles on the streets.

Alongside dumpsters.

In the weeds.

Discarded bits and pieces of

emotional trauma

Scarred, Scared children

everywhere

Aggressively thrown anger grenades

at the world’s injustices;

building-side, where

graffiti tells its name

Haunted by

the bits and pieces of

your dreams

my dreams

Broken glass everywhere

Recent Dreams

Recent Dreams

by dan ankers

Recently the things which used to seem absurd

are parting grey matter of my brain;

causing me pain

It’s not fun

and

It’s not great at all

It’s making me

want to smash my head

into a wall

but if I did

they would only escape

my brain cavity

and I would lose

those

grey matter

gremlins

and

I would be left

holding up an empty bottle of vodka

in my hand

my fingers trembling

anxiety; unending

walk into the street

where I would meet

the steel

This shit is real

Life is important

and

Good things must grow

from the foulness

of my losses

I can only plant some roses

in the garden of my

old life

Negative experiences become a

compost pile

which nourishes the future,

which makes me

Smile

:)

If you know my name

If you know my name

by dan ankers

If you know me

it’s like a movie

absolutely, executing

with impunity

on the community

and

unfurling

my agenda

can I surrender?

I think not

So fast

I get hot

full blast

Oh My God!

Out of control

I can’t stop!

Under the skin of

my calm demeanor

I am a soldier

and

I’m a leader

Though the battle plan changes

and the ground rearranges

beneath me

my destiny is always the same

and

my goal is one colossal refrain:

"Love all on this earth with no exceptions

and clear my mind of these earthly deceptions

Then and only then will I truly find the peace

I need.

Force myself to learn about the human vice of greed."

Feedback

Feedback

by dan ankers

My control room is far off

Ten million miles away

I perceive through intuitions

and my thoughts; chaotically rambling

This is the way

I speak to myself, when I’m not hearing

When my ego is no longer tuned in

or listening

to my soul,

which is glistening

A finely tuned instrument

of perfection

most distant

It demands a quiet mind

Crystalline forms

equal crystal clear thoughts

which channel through my vessel

from my instruments

far off

As when light beams

enter diamonds

their whole being is

illumined

Though, when I refuse to listen

my outer self can’t glisten;

covered with the dirt and grime

of this gritty world

I live in

Only through silence

may the light beams of my soul

travel

But first I must wipe off

my accumulated gravel

In fact it is only then,

and upon such a rarified time

that clarity speeds

laser-like through me

and I find

some peace of mind.

If

If

by dan ankers

If I could fly a plane to where you are

or even more simply drive a car

Nothing in the world would change my mind

I’d be there in as few as possible

instances of time

(as destiny allowed)

If only I knew you wanted me

by your side

I would attempt to swim across any sea

and if drowning in the process were my fate

the thought of you would keep me smiling

as I’d fade

Perhaps I’d wash up on shore

in your arms?

or in another life we’d reunite?

If only there were answers

to my questions

If only I weren’t lonesome

in the night

The bitterness of a memory of nothing

The bitterness of a memory of nothing

by dan ankers

Wooden box filled with memories

I open you

Especially this one, among the many I cherish

Only to find, where I expected

a symphony

of lights, sounds, and roses

There was instead, a cluster of mealworms and dust;

Spider-webs and ghosts,

and in the midst of those webs

was placed there a

note

It said,

“This was nothing”

What did I expect?

Certainly not this.

But that’s how it goes, they say.

When you are old enough to see the past change

throw all of those old boxes away...

It must have been

It must have been

by dan ankers

It happened once, I’m sure

I just cannot say when

Either way, it is gone now

The past has passed me by

and will again

She was there, I know it

I just can’t say which she, she was

There have been more than a dozen or so

but rarely have I thought

“This is love.”

Sure, once...maybe twice

(And I must admit, the belief was nice)

But fantasies are butterfly wings

Such delicate and pretty things

And care not-a-jot

for the preciousness of jeweled rings

Nor one single tittle for a hand-held vow

declared upon a blanket

beneath the stars

And

Most especially not for the declarations

inspired by the passionate exultations

expelled from the lips of fools

in park-ed cars!

Even so

If such a thing as love exists at all

(and perhaps it does)

the type of which begets the (mad) promise of forever cohabitation

and the subsequent, unending obligation of one-on-one interrelation,

coupled with compromise and religiously practised self-abnegation,

its worth must be very high to those who’ve found their way into its velvety arms

or as to me (it seems), its clutches

because to enter into that type of agreement

seems like a self-inflicted harm

Perhaps I’ve met her

and perhaps I’ve turned her away?

Or perhaps it went the other way?

In reality, I know not.

Not by one single jot or tittle

Or by one tiny speck or spot.

Luminescent Essence of Night

Luminescent Essence of Night

by dan ankers

Behind the concept of total dark,

there lies the truth of a light

and animated evil

which thrives in this context

of unbelief

When the idea of total darkness fades

what is left is a looming

truth

That even darkness has its own type of light

and purple luminescence is his proof

Terror

Terror

by dan ankers

I saw my wife today

She was not right

Some things about her face...

That I could not trace

were slightly misplaced

As if

Someone had drawn her dimensions wrong;

though not completely

Almost my wife;

but not quite

She was a caricature

of my once graceful

and

nearly perfect mate

of some twenty or so odd years

I wondered, “ Could she see the

distortions of her face

when she looked into the mirror?”

After breakfast

she drove my kids to school;

not cool

As I saw a skinless, skeletal man

directing traffic

at the corner

of our road

and no one noticed

save for I

Later:

After witnessing these simple, domestic horrors

I stumbled backward, into my home

clutching the air for solace

I wondered if, in fact

this world was ending, today

Of all days

this, a monday, after a quiet pleasant holiday

with family and friends

OR

If

Much more likely than that

I was suffering from some type of uncertain trauma

and my old life was gone

and was never coming back

and only I

was seeing these sinister visions

because my egg was starting to

Crack

…

I Showed up late

to the toil of my office life

A place filled with emotionless,

emaciated,

self-tethered slaves

joylessly co-mingling

‘round a book

about nothing

at all

My office-mates seemed distracted

Maybe from the way I was acting?

Their faces and the walls were cracking

Some hidden voice, it would not stop laughing, laughing!

Smiles went on, for an hour too long

I’d turn away and glance back again

to see those grinning maws!

Still disturbing; fingers like claws

Dark, twisted figures roamed the halls

That shit was graphic

and so I panicked

Later:

I stood near the entrance to take my overdue exit

while those who I once called confidants, glared at my back

with expressions I could not read

I could sense that they all just wanted me to leave

I thought,

“I WILL leave...and I WILL cleave

a life that I once knew (kneeling in disgrace)

into two

separate pieces,

Which I will

eat, gluttonously, with the fangs

of my face!”

Leaves falling fast from the trees,

are pages being torn from the book of life

by an uncaring child, born out of a demon’s

best intentions

Standing in my former home

I was struck by a sudden, single moment of dangerous clarity

It

stretched on and on

against my will

and

without my permission

and

It

Piled upon my head

Till my neck was broken, completely

And then I heard him;

The mad soul of this universe

who knows nothing of time

and

Experiences only one, single

Uninterrupted

and

unforgiving

Sliver

of

Eternal

Now-ness

He screams, and he covers his ears

while his eyes

bleed

for the world

His wailing bathes this universe in radiation

and his crimson tears

fall

and become black holes

and time paradoxes